Unlike most of the folks reading this, I've already cast my vote for President.

Since I live overseas I have to vote by absentee ballot. The process entails a lot of hassle, but is ultimately worth it, especially since it beats being hassled at the polls by a bunch of GOP-rented thugs who want to make sure you're not too immigrant, too poor or too liberal to vote.

(It also beats standing in line with an army of recently-raised zombies, all dug up and sent towards the polls by well-paid Democrat necromancers... but that's another story.)

All backhanded complements aside, the best thing about being able to vote absentee is that you can take your time. You can do it from the comfort of your own home, without being rushed by blue-haired old biddies. And you can have all your info around you, so as to fully consider things before making a decision.

But there's also the danger of casting a vote and then finding out one last piece of info that would have tipped it the other way. We expatriates can't be swayed by any last-minute promises, scandals or the like. If our choice for President gets trapped in a major lie, turns out to have been bankrolled by China or gets caught stealing panties from a retirement home, it's too late - we already voted.

Am I really worried, though? No, I'm not: I'd already pretty much figured that the War on Terror cannot be won under Bush, and I was pretty darn sure that he didn't deserve reelection for other reasons, too. But I was waiting for the end of the debates before fully calling it for one side or the other, just to see if there was something I was missing.

Well, there wasn't. And wouldn't you know that I got my ballot just after the last debate happened, by some weird quirk of fate? That made it all the easier to cast a vote for John Kerry, and I think you should join me in that decision when your time comes around.

When I voted for Bush in 2000, I was hoping for a socially-moderate economic conservative who was going to bring a fresh new perspective to the White House. And while it's true that, after eight years of Clinton, I didn't want four years of a two-faced and censorious robot wonk and his gibbering and self-righteous sidekick, I was mostly voting with my pocketbook.

But all we've gotten for the last four years is a socially-conservative spendthrift who thinks big schemes with impressive names make up for an utter paucity of fiscal sense. He doesn't read newspapers or watch television to get information because he's got "people" to tell him what's what. But at the same time he won't listen to "people" when they tell him he's wrong. These qualities don't make for a good businessman, and they sure don't make for a good Commander in Chief, either.

(And as for censorship, you know you're in trouble when the first thing his new Attorney General does is drape a curtain over the nude statue in his press conference room...)

So while it's a shame to have to vote against someone, rather than for someone else, George W. Bush has got to be shown to the door in 2004. Even if we have to endure four years of a grinning zombie from Taxachusetts at the helm of our economy, I'd be hard-pressed to see how Kerry could be much worse.

This goes double in regards to our handling of this war, our standing in the world and our relations to it. All that's really sustaining Bush in the polls - other than a healthy skepticism of Democratic "fiscal responsibility" - is a combination of war fever, misplaced patriotism and well-placed concern about a change of Commanders in Chief in the middle of a war. In fact, I feel confident enough to say that if 9/11 hadn't happened, George W. Bush would be facing a landslide against him.

Why? Because when it comes to jobs, the economy, civil rights, education, legal reform and other important matters, Bush has either failed to lead or failed to provide adequate solutions to the problems he came to Washington to solve. He rightly told Kerry that a litany of complaints isn't a plan, but Bush's plans seem to boil down to "more of the same, even if they don't work."

That's not good enough. We deserve better. But Bush just doesn't get it.

We deserve a real answer when a family provider loses his or her job to someone working for pennies to the dollar in Mumbai. Bush would tell them to go get another degree, but that's not a real answer. Working families can't wait two to four years for dad and/or mom to get retrained to do something else in a community college. They don't need to go spend more money to learn to do something different, they need a new job, and we all need some way to stop the loss of jobs overseas. But Bush just doesn't get it.

We deserve a real solution when we're told that border security with Mexico is still a joke. Bush would add incentives for people to sneak over by giving them "temporary worker" cards, and giving them jobs that could go to out-of-work American citizens, and that is not a real solution. We don't need illegal immigrants streaming into the workforce, and we don't need Al Qaeda operatives slipping in alongside them. But Bush just doesn't get it.

We deserve a real and proportionate response to Gay Marriage. Bush would amend the Constitution to ban it, but that is not a proportionate response. We need to just bite the bullet and either allow the states to make up their own mind on it, or else get the Government out of the institution of marriage altogether. But Bush just doesn't get it.

Education? Bush gives us No Child Left Behind, but it's turned out to be more like No Child's Behind Left Alone. Underfunded, ineffective and flat-out punitive. Again, Bush just doesn't get it.

Church and State? Bush gives us the Faith-Based Initiative. Funny how no one wants to talk about that, anymore. Again, Bush just doesn't get it.

Gas prices? Social Security? The Environment? Our Resources? We either get flip-flops, distractions, or the same old same old from Bush, because he just doesn't get it.

That's not good enough. We deserve better. And maybe Bush hasn't gotten it, but I have.

And it is for those reasons, along with his indelicate and flubbed-up handling of the War on Terror, that I didn't cast a vote for Bush the second time around. I may regret this decision, much as I regretted my vote for Bush's father back in 1988, and my vote for Bush in 2000. But I can't reward terminal incompetence and foolishness with another term - I can only hope that Kerry will get us back on the right track, or at least tide us over until a real wartime President can be mustered up to run our affairs.

That's why I've made the decision I have, and I hope you'll join me on election day.